My seminary training included a robust field education program. In one semester two of us spent an afternoon/evening every week at a residential treatment center for girls. These girls were temporarily placed there from a variety of circumstances. Some were runaways. Some were abandoned. Some had been arrested. Many suffered what we now recognize as mental illness. Most were abused. Many suffered from addictions or eating disorders.
My seminary partner and I would go into their recreation lounge that included a ping pong table, decks of cards and board games. We would attempt to engage with them in conversation or an activity, and then dine with them before leaving.
Most of the time, most of the days, we were ignored. Rarely did they speak with us or join us in a game. How could we blame them? Most of them there were betrayed or abused by every male in their lives. And yet, frequently when we got up to leave, one would ask Why are you leaving? Or Do you have to leave now. Field ed objective accomplished!
We were subjected to being consistently ignored. We were pushed beyond our comfort zones. Our motivations or mission or prayers did not seem to matter. We appeared to be irrelevant. All of that was necessary to bring us to the realization of the invaluable and foundational ministry of presence. We were speaking comfort and concern to some of those girls by our intentional presence. This experience transformed us as well as, if not more than, them.
All effective and transformational ministry starts with simply – but often with great difficulty – being present! I’m reminded of the words of St. Francis of Assisi: Preach always; when necessary, use words.
Effective ministry is transformational, and it starts with intentional presence –an effort to be totally with the other, as a willing empathetic participant rather than a half-hearted or reluctant sympathetic observer or supporter. Transformational ministry challenges us to move out of our physical, spiritual, cultural comfort zones—to see a part of ourselves in others who do not look like or dress like us, who speak a different language, and whose lifestyle bears little resemblance to ours.
I thought of our diocesan and parish ministry of presence at the Lehigh Pride Day last week. Upon entering the area outside of the event select religious groups provided a judgmental hateful presence. Gratefully, the faith community members witnessing God’s love and acceptance inside the event far outnumbered them. One man walking by our booth noted: It’s good to see many religious groups here.
We were not ignored, but nor were we there to fix or impart anything. There were no religious services or prayers. No sermons. No doctrinal tracts to distribute. There were conversations and simple joyful presence. Ministry demands that we do not totally rely upon our words, our actions, no matter how pure our intentions. God’s grace bears fruit in God’s time. The LGBTQ community already offers witness to God’s love. Our ministry confirms it and encourages it to grow along with ours.
Personally, I was never prouder to wear my Anglican collar. The sweat beneath it could not dampen its proclamation of love.
The world is too small and its suffering too great for a religion that simply keeps us comfortable without making a loving difference. As an authentic faith community, we will embrace ministry that transforms us, before it seeks to transform others.