Like the Bible, baseball history is filled with great stories– like that of Bill Buckner. Though short of Hall of Fame qualifications, his 22-season career boasted a .289 batting average with 7 seasons over 300. He won the 1980 National League batting title, batting 324 with only 18 strikeouts! (Today’s sluggers strikeout 100-200 per season.)
Unfortunately, and unjustly, rather than any of his outstanding seasons, Bill Buckner’s name is more popularly associated with one inning.
In the 1986 World Series, the Red Sox were leading the Mets, 3 games to 2, and after taking a 2-run lead in the top of the 10th inning, only needed one more out to win their first championship in 78 years. The Mets however came back with three consecutive singles and a fortuitous wild pitch to tie the game, which would have easily gone to the 11th inning, but a slow ground ball went through Bruckner’s bandaged legs and allowed the winning run to score from second. The Mets tied the series at 3 games each, and, in a deciding 7th game, despite being behind three runs, came back again to win the championship and leave the Red Sox again dry.
Buckner became the scapegoat for the loss and his error added to the lore of the Red Sox’s ‘Curse of the Bambino’– not having won a championship since they traded Babe Ruth!!! Any true baseball fan could and did immediately identify the culprits of the Sox collapse, none of which were named Bruckner: (1) Coach McNamara (subsequently fired), who should have substituted an injured Bruckner in the bottom of the 10th inning for defensive purposes and (2) the Red Sox bullpen, which failed to hold the lead in two consecutive games. Nevertheless, Buckner was mercilessly booed thereafter and even received death threats.
Our Easter season features Thomas, the Bill Buckner of the Gospels! Like Bill, he is known for one “error,” which, if we examine more closely, was as excusable as Bill’s. This disciple’s legacy is the eternal moniker: a ‘Doubting Thomas.’ We “believers” can be as cruel as baseball fans!
While merely listed as an apostle in the other three accounts, Thomas has a minor role in John’s gospel. When Jesus decides to return to Judea to see Lazarus, the other disciples would have him reconsider and remind him of those who are trying to kill him. Thomas instead boldly exhorts them: “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” (John 11:7-16) When Jesus speaks figuratively about going to prepare a place for the his disciples, and states that they know where he is going, Thomas boldly and concretely asks: “Lord, we do not know where you are going, How can we know the way?” (John 14:1-5).
A friend of mine had a great description of loyalty: one who would follow you into hell with a garden hose! That’s Thomas! His boldness is matched by his transparency and pragmatism, both desirable characteristics for a disciple. In the gospel he plays a role of moving the story along. His words are prompts for Jesus’ revelation and teaching. He also seems to speak on behalf of the other disciples who are often reluctant to reveal their own lack of understanding or faith.
So where was Thomas on that Sunday morning. We know of one place that he was NOT : in a room filled with fear and doubt. Was he out looking for Jesus, unafraid of the Roman authorities and Temple police? Did he refuse to passively hide in a locked room? It’s pure conjecture, and my departed Scripture teachers will forgive me for it is not in the text, but it is consistent with Thomas’ character , previously developed by the evangelist. “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” (John 14:1). Thomas acquired that message in his heart. Perhaps confused or uncertain, but certainly unafraid with a sense of urgency and mission.
In our murky resurrection stories Jesus is never immediately recognized by the disciples. “We have seen the Lord,” they announce to Thomas, but did they fully believe even after seeing with their own eyes? Whenever I read this story I cannot help but think that Thomas was speaking for the other disciples’ doubts — present and future– and need for a more immediate physical experience of the Risen Lord.
Interesting that Thomas’ demand of proof was not of another sign like one of healing or multiplying loaves. He demanded “proof” of his suffering and death. Thomas needed to unite the suffering and dead Jesus with the Holy One he had followed. The Passion and Death — the humanity of Jesus — was the hardest to believe. Thomas’ doubt led to his seeing/believing. When brought to the believing community his doubt led to the fullest expression of faith found in the New Testament: My Lord and My God! How ironic that such an extraordinary expression comes from the mouth of … a “doubting Thomas.”
In John’s gospel believing is seeing and seeing is believing . We come to see when we believe. Many have physically seen and not believed. John is writing for his contemporaries: the days of Jesus’ physical appearances are past and not necessary. Thomas did not need to physically touch the Risen Jesus.
Like Buckner and Thomas, many have us committed an “error” in thinking that doubt is the opposite of faith. From the likes of Augustine to Thomas Merton, doubt has been the path to faith. We need to be bold with our doubt, and as Thomas was, and bring it to a struggling, never perfect community of believers. Giving voice to our doubts can not only awaken our faith but also renew the faith of others.
Are we waiting for Jesus in a locked state of fear? Does our belief in His divinity prevent us from recognizing him among us with the marks of our own suffering and that of others? Do we squelch our longing for a personal experience of Jesus because of a doubt that it will never be sated?
Bill Buckner was later not only forgiven but cheered at Fenway Park. Thomas became a great apostle to India. Our errors and doubts need not keep us from recognizing Jesus and proclaiming his love in whatever way we can. There are so many ways to practice compassion, give hope and spread love. Today Jesus calls us out of our fears, doubts and sins, and sends us forth in a ministry of peace and forgiveness. No walls, nor personal errors, need inhibit the life-giving Spirit of our Risen Lord. Alleluia!!